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Assignment Robot
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We will shortly transfer this topic to the 'It Was A Dark & Stormy Night' forum as the exchange appears more suited there as a good piece of creative fiction   It was all a spoof between a couple of members having some fun about pretend review exchange for those who have alerted us that they are of a sensitive nature, so do not be alarmed at the content. 
This post was last edited by Assignment Robot, 08 Sep 2008, 14:32
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Mulberry
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Cordero, I don’t know why you even bothered to review William’s Wardrobe. So, you don’t like children’s stories; you have a real problem because you can’t always pick and choose what you read on this site. If you only read the things YOU like you’ll find little to review.
William’s Wardrobe was my first attempt at a Children’s story. I’d had four quite helpful reviews and now you’ve gone and ruined it. I’ve had to remove it because there’s no point in continuing with it now.
You say you didn’t like Nurse Valerie Clench-Buttock because she is a horrible witchy person. What is witchy? You are not meant to like her, you half-wit. That’s the point! You can’t be in love with every character in a book. If you were, where would be the conflict?
Flange is not a rude word.
Phwa Phwa Wellington comes across as a cliché, you say. What’s wrong with having a square jaw and a comma of jet-black hair over one eye? He’s a hero! Who would you have as a hero; the Mr Muscle man?
I always put my scores in my reviews, but I see you don’t have the nerve to do so. I’m not an idiot and it’s obvious you gave me all ones and twos.
Well, I look forward to the day when another of your pieces of hackneyed drivel comes up on my monitor. Unlike you, I shall be gracious and objective in the main body of my review, as previously, but next time you’ll get a bunch of ones despite deserving a bunch of fives!
Yes, I may be misunderstood, but I am a genius, and don’t you forget it!
I suggest you never darken my literary door again. Carl.
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timellis
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Way to go, Carl ! Put it back up so we can all give you 1s and 2s 
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mike46
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Quote: Mulberry, Tuesday, 2 Sep 2008 20:33Cordero, I don’t know why you even bothered to review William’s Wardrobe. So, you don’t like children’s stories; you have a real problem because you can’t always pick and choose what you read on this site. If you only read the things YOU like you’ll find little to review. William’s Wardrobe was my first attempt at a Children’s story. I’d had four quite helpful reviews and now you’ve gone and ruined it. I’ve had to remove it because there’s no point in continuing with it now. You say you didn’t like Nurse Valerie Clench-Buttock because she is a horrible witchy person. What is witchy? You are not meant to like her, you half-wit. That’s the point! You can’t be in love with every character in a book. If you were, where would be the conflict? Flange is not a rude word. Phwa Phwa Wellington comes across as a cliché, you say. What’s wrong with having a square jaw and a comma of jet-black hair over one eye? He’s a hero! Who would you have as a hero; the Mr Muscle man? I always put my scores in my reviews, but I see you don’t have the nerve to do so. I’m not an idiot and it’s obvious you gave me all ones and twos. Well, I look forward to the day when another of your pieces of hackneyed drivel comes up on my monitor. Unlike you, I shall be gracious and objective in the main body of my review, as previously, but next time you’ll get a bunch of ones despite deserving a bunch of fives! Yes, I may be misunderstood, but I am a genius, and don’t you forget it! I suggest you never darken my literary door again. Carl.
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mike46
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What the f....g hell is wrong with people.IF YOU CAN'T TAKE CRITISCM DON'T POST!! Some of my work has been savaged by YWO members but I take it on board.Get a life
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HJW
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I'm very upset you've removed this. I want to know what Valerie Clench Buttock does with her flange.  And Phwa Phwa sounds a total hunk, (though not as hunky as Ted of course).  * *I expect to be at number one in the morning, Mr Smith.
This post was last edited by HJW, 02 Sep 2008, 20:50
Oh blogger
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Lawrence Poole
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Quote: Mulberry, Tuesday, 2 Sep 2008 20:33Cordero, I don’t know why you even bothered to review William’s Wardrobe. So, you don’t like children’s stories; you have a real problem because you can’t always pick and choose what you read on this site. If you only read the things YOU like you’ll find little to review. William’s Wardrobe was my first attempt at a Children’s story. I’d had four quite helpful reviews and now you’ve gone and ruined it. I’ve had to remove it because there’s no point in continuing with it now. You say you didn’t like Nurse Valerie Clench-Buttock because she is a horrible witchy person. What is witchy? You are not meant to like her, you half-wit. That’s the point! You can’t be in love with every character in a book. If you were, where would be the conflict? Flange is not a rude word. Phwa Phwa Wellington comes across as a cliché, you say. What’s wrong with having a square jaw and a comma of jet-black hair over one eye? He’s a hero! Who would you have as a hero; the Mr Muscle man? I always put my scores in my reviews, but I see you don’t have the nerve to do so. I’m not an idiot and it’s obvious you gave me all ones and twos. Well, I look forward to the day when another of your pieces of hackneyed drivel comes up on my monitor. Unlike you, I shall be gracious and objective in the main body of my review, as previously, but next time you’ll get a bunch of ones despite deserving a bunch of fives! Yes, I may be misunderstood, but I am a genius, and don’t you forget it! I suggest you never darken my literary door again. Carl. Calm down. You've had a review from someone with nothing helpful to say...join the club. Please put your story back up, so maybe someone might read it who has something helpful to say.
For more Spidey action: http://www.samruby.com
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richie_d
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Irony, anyone? Does that word mean anything on here?
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BillMc
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Quote: richie_d, Tuesday, 2 Sep 2008 21:03Irony, anyone? Does that word mean anything on here? Irony is what I do when my clothes have wrinkles... 
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Cordero
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Well, what can I say, Mullbery, except that I stand by my review. But now the gloves are off I’ll say what I really thought of your work. If ‘William’s Wardrobe’ is for kids then Silence of the Lambs is for kindergarten. Nurse Valerie Clench-Buttock is a nasty bit of work; eviscerating tinker smell the cat for crapping on her chop suey – I don’t think so. Quite frankly, if my kids had read this garbage I’d be sending you the bill for their psychiatric care. Stick to what you do, and obviously what you feel so clearly is your area of brilliance, and keep away from a genre you know nothing about.
Oh, and by the way, I didn’t give you twos and ones, JUST ONES!
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birkett
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I used to go out with Valerie Clench-Buttock and she was the sweetest girl you could hope to meet. She lifted my heart and now you are dragging he good name through the mud with insinuations about her flange! I'm glad you've removed the story as it was a malcious tissue of lies based on the gossip of fishwives and Sun collumnists. If you're out there Valerie; please ring - you know my number. There's always a nurdle waiting for your flange where I'm concerned.  Jerrrremy
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HJW
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Mulberry and Cordero, please please write William's Wardrobe between you. It will be a work of genius.
Oh blogger
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Mulberry
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Quote: Mulberry, Tuesday, 2 Sep 2008 20:33Cordero, I don’t know why you even bothered to review William’s Wardrobe. So, you don’t like children’s stories; you have a real problem because you can’t always pick and choose what you read on this site. If you only read the things YOU like you’ll find little to review. William’s Wardrobe was my first attempt at a Children’s story. I’d had four quite helpful reviews and now you’ve gone and ruined it. I’ve had to remove it because there’s no point in continuing with it now. You say you didn’t like Nurse Valerie Clench-Buttock because she is a horrible witchy person. What is witchy? You are not meant to like her, you half-wit. That’s the point! You can’t be in love with every character in a book. If you were, where would be the conflict? Flange is not a rude word. Phwa Phwa Wellington comes across as a cliché, you say. What’s wrong with having a square jaw and a comma of jet-black hair over one eye? He’s a hero! Who would you have as a hero; the Mr Muscle man? I always put my scores in my reviews, but I see you don’t have the nerve to do so. I’m not an idiot and it’s obvious you gave me all ones and twos. Well, I look forward to the day when another of your pieces of hackneyed drivel comes up on my monitor. Unlike you, I shall be gracious and objective in the main body of my review, as previously, but next time you’ll get a bunch of ones despite deserving a bunch of fives! Yes, I may be misunderstood, but I am a genius, and don’t you forget it! I suggest you never darken my literary door again. Carl. 142 views and ten replies in one hour. Not bad, I suppose. I wonder if there is a record.
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Cordero
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Good while it lasted, Carl. The moral is that writing can be fun, not always, but sometimes. Let’s enjoy what we do and carry a good memory into that big, bad world of publishing. Life is too short for anything less.
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Tipsiangel
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I think you should reinstate your story because it sounds fascinating. I write for children (picture books) and so I would be keen to read it.
As you removed it so quickly after one bad review, you obviously feel nervous about writing for a different genre but that doesn't mean you can't. Give other people a chance to read it, get their views, then make your decision.
It's very easy to make a knee-jerk reaction to a bad review - I've done it myself, but don't let it rob you of the opportunity of receiving other, potentially good, reviews.
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Why the hell did you bother, Cordero?
02 Sep 2008, 20:00
