Title : Come in, please

Author : Joe 90

Genre : Short Story, Thriller

Review Extract from Review By: Trevillian

"Pitch perfect short

Well, Joe 90, in me you have found your reader.

Near perfect score, mainly due to the sheer style of the piece and the effortless way you drew the reader into your mis en scene. It shows you're no literary genius, but what you attempt requires a raw hand --- and you manage to pull off what is something of a coup; the style is termed metafiction I think. Ever heard of it? Personally I love this sub-text and use it a lot.

...

Also, I felt there was no need to say that the character in the story (Callum) does not share your beliefs or views. As you are obviously the other voice in this tale. I did want something to happen to meld the ethereal voice of the author with the protagonist, but that would be just *too* clever, right!

Minor tweaks:

"There was raised voices": obviously should be 'were'.

"Is that the name.... : no closing speech mark.

without a load of conditions: maybe just 'without conditions' would be stronger.

Hope that helps! And great stuff, Joe 90. Keep up with the spinning machine, OK! "

Synopsis
Walk away. NOW!
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